I am standing on the precipice of something new. I can look over the edge but I cannot see past the clouds hovering just below my feet. It is strange because part of me still yearns for the comfort of the known. Regardless of whether it is in my best interest. It is the known I crave. The memories, the love I have felt. The dreams I held in my mind for so long. The dreams I coddled and protected for so long.
Can I let go of the dreams, the hopes, the wishes long enough to experience something new? It will be great. It will be happy, it will be like nothing I ever imagined. But, I cannot take my previous hopes and dreams, and so it is scary.
What if I fall flat on my face? What if there is nothing below those clouds, hovering just below my feet? I need to breathe and create a life based on my growth and learning. Based on who I have become on this trip to the precipice. I am not the person I was all those years ago. I am not the girl who does not know herself. I am not the girl worrying about how things looked to others. It hurts to remember some of those things, but it does not serve me to dwell here. I have changed, life has taught me the lessons of gratitude and attitude.
So jump, just go for it. Maybe, my hopes, my dreams will take the same leap, and they will find me. Just maybe, but I will not hold on to them anymore. Those hopes and dreams served me to get here. Those hopes and dreams taught me how to become better. But now I need new hopes and dreams because I cannot jump while holding on to them. I cannot move another inch unless I let go.
When you’ve reached the precipice and you don’t know what to do, there are only two options. Jump. Or go back and re-live everything again. Life is a precious gift. My gratitude for it does not allow me to waste a single moment of it re-living the past.
I forgive you, I love you, I forgive myself. Be happy. Be better. Just Be You. You are worthy of love.